Can't Hold Back: A Returning Home Novel by Serena Bell

Author:Serena Bell [Bell, Serena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Loveswept
Published: 2015-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

He was kissing her again. And he was hard already, and as if she hadn’t just come, ridiculously intensely, twice, she was turning toward him and trying to press herself against him. And it was getting more and more difficult to convince herself that this was something that had happened accidentally, something that wouldn’t happen again, something she could call it quits on anytime, before more harm was done.

Because she wanted to do it again. As many times as he wanted her to, she would be ready to give him what he needed. It was a little bit of a problem, actually.

A little bit of a Nate addiction.

And Jake had been worried about his bad judgment.

Oh, man.

It was probably not even possible to catalog the number of ways having sex with him had been a bad idea.

Add to all the others, the fact that the past refused to stay put. That he was still thinking about her original betrayal, still trying to sort out how much she’d interfered with his relationship with Becca. And the messages had been a low moment. Not the lowest, maybe, but damn low.

She’d had a terrible evening that night. For once, her date—an online match—was the same age he claimed, the same weight he’d appeared in his photo, and possessing the same degree of employment he’d mentioned in his profile. He was even attractive, attractive enough that she’d felt a flare of optimism when he’d met her in the lobby of the restaurant. But it turned out he was angry and bitter, raging against politicians and various ethnic groups and working moms—pretty much no one was immune. Finally, she’d extricated herself, begged off dessert—which told you something about the degree of her desperation—and fought off his unwanted good-night advance.

By then she’d been quite drunk. She almost never drank much, but it had been her only defense against his awfulness. She had let herself into the apartment that she and Becca were sharing—it was before Becca had moved out and found her own place—and, in the dark and quiet, began to cry.

Not just about the awful date. Also about how in just a few days, when his flight finally came through, Nate was going to come home and Becca was going to tell him the truth and it was going to be over. For good.

About missed chances and bad choices, good intentions sliding down the ravine to hell, and the loneliness of knowing that you’d fallen in love with someone who didn’t know who you were.

Across the room, the desktop computer, which they shared, pinged. Alia crossed the room and wiggled the mouse.

There was an instant message window up on the screen.

NateRiordan199: Still waiting. They say probably tomorrow. I’m dying of boredom. Please tell me you’re awake.

She could feel his disquiet. The long hours, the adrenaline he could never quite burn off. How itchy it must make him. How bored, and how lonely.

I still know you. Even if you don’t know me.

It was, oddly enough, a small comfort.

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